Last month, Sam Christelow had the pleasure of talking to Mogwai's Barry Burns in what is invariably the funniest interview I've ever read.
The gloomy Nottingham skyline didn’t fill me with confidence as I dialled up Barry Burns on a Thursday morning in early January. I’m always a little anxious when interviewing, particularly artists who are seen as particularly “cool” or “experimental”, and as arguably the most influential post-rock band of the last 25 years Mogwai certainly fit into this category. I often wonder how many times they have been asked the same questions. What was the creative process like for your new album? How does it feel to tour with X? Do you have a favourite song to play live? The list goes on. Surely they must be bored to tears and dread the days that management books them in for press duties. Maybe it wasn’t such a coincidence that Stuart Braithwaite, founding member and frontman (at least for media purposes), was on holiday that week.
With this in mind, I prepared a risky interview. Silly questions, deep dives into old songs, maybe even banter? I just hoped Barry would be up for it. I took a deep breath as he picked up the call.
“Hello, is that Barry?”
“Yes, is that Sam?”
“It is mate, how are you?”
“Sh*te. Everything’s terrible” and he bursts into laughter.
Fantastic, he’s in. He says he’d rather be shot in the face than do a boring interview. What follows is an abridged version of our conversation, you can imagine the full effect by adding in even more swearing and laughter from both Barry and myself.
He says he’d rather be shot in the face than do a boring interview.
Sam: What did you have for breakfast this morning?
Barry: I had some Oatibix, which is a sh*t version of Weetabix. Or actually Oaty Flakes I think they’re called, they used to make the big biscuit ones but they stopped because I wasn’t buying them enough.
S: Oh my Dad used to eat those, they dry even harder than regular Weetabix, he said he thought you could use them like concrete.
B: It’s not good when you put it down your sink!
S: I’ll hit you with the question I like to ask everyone, if you could change one thing, what would it be?
B: Arse hairs.
S: Um, do you want less of them? Or more?
B: None. I honestly think the existence of arse hairs disproves the existence of God, like it’s my go-to Richard Dawkins argument. There is no God because you’ve got hairs on your arse.
S: I think that might be the best answer I’ve ever had to that question
B: What do other people say?
S: You get answers all the way from giving houses to all the homeless people too…
B: Oh f*ck I should’ve said that! But then again they have arse hairs too!
S: I think the worst one I ever had was someone wishing Domino’s started doing a specific pizza topping again
B: Selfish bastard! Was that [famous pop artist]?
I honestly think the existence of arse hairs disproves the existence of God, like it’s my go-to Richard Dawkins argument. There is no God because you’ve got hairs on your arse
S: Any music recommendations for our readers?
B: Sounds weird but I’ve just been working on other people’s remixes at the moment and have really fallen behind on listening to other people’s music, so when our next album comes out and I’ve written some of the songs they’re gonna sound like they’re from the 90s! It’s embarrassing because you’re supposed to keep up with your peers and I haven’t done that at all, I’ve just been watching Netflix.
S: Well what are you watching on Netflix then?
B: The Orville! Although that’s a Disney Plus one, I’ve got Stuart’s login details… To be fair I gave him my MUBI details back when I was trying to be cultured but I haven’t looked at it yet…
S: So I do have to ask you a couple of questions about your band, but I promise it won’t be too much. One of the things that sticks in my mind about Mogwai is you have fantastic names for your songs, some of my favourites are tracks like The Sun Smells Too Loud or I Love You, I’m Going To Blow Up Your School. I think those are great, but I want to know what the creative thrust is behind that?
B: Have you ever sat in front of a television, put a film on and got really drunk with your friends? That’s how it happens. For example, I hate giving examples because it makes me feel like a dick, anyway Ceiling Granny is one of our titles and there’s a part in The Exorcist 3 where the old woman crawls across the ceiling and someone just said “That’s the ceiling granny” so it really is just four drunk people trying to keep their sh*t together. None of them are good but does that matter? I was thinking about the name Sex Pistols the other day and thought about how bad it is, I mean it’s terrible but if you see it enough times it just becomes normal.
S: Do you have any personal favourite titles?
B: Still my favourite one is Golden Porsche because we had a forum years ago, like an early internet forum and we said “We can’t think of a name for this song does anyone have any ideas?” and the first person that wrote in was like “You should definitely call it Golden Porsche” and we were like oh brilliant, that’s perfect, thanks! But really the best ones are when Stuart writes a song with singing in it and still doesn’t have a title, it always pisses him off when we call it something really terrible that has nothing to do with the song. We have one called “Blues Hour” which is funny because we thought it was really terrible so we put it on one of his songs. He was like “Are we really gonna call it that” and we said “Yes, that’s the vote! It’s called Blues Hour now, f*ck you”.
S: I suppose if it’s all of you against him he can’t really say anything in that case
B: He’s the whipping boy. He doesn’t know that, but he is. He comes across as the leader of the band but he’s actually not.
S: You guys are going on tour across the UK soon
B: Unfortunately yes!
S: I’m quite excited to be seeing you here in Nottingham on Valentine’s Day
B: Here we go, gun city! Is it still called gun city?
S: Pretty much yeah. Apparently it’s not actually the gun crime capital of the UK anymore, I think London has overtaken us.
B: Oh of course, sh*thole
S: So are we going to see any cupid outfits on stage? Anything special for the day of love?
B: Ah no, I’ll be wearing the same t-shirt I had on the day before, maybe a hoodie, and I wouldn’t look anyone from the crowd in the eye for fear of death.
S: On that, what is the crowd like at Mogwai shows?
B: All men
S: Yeah that’s kinda what I expected
B: Depressed men in their forties and some of them have dragged along their girlfriends because it’s their birthday and they’re scared to be out of their bedroom! I don’t know actually, it has changed over the years, it did used to be that kind of crowd but nowadays there’s more people involved.
S: More hipster-y young people these days?
B: I don’t know if we’ve ever had hipsters. I mean, someone called me a hipster once because I have a beard. I was like “I literally just didn’t shave, what the f*ck are you talking about?”
Actually here’s a bit of advice for you, after you’re 25 you can’t remember anything anymore and it all feels like you’re 25 forever until you die, so enjoy that!
S: I’m 25, am I going to be the youngest person there?
B: Aye, easily, unless someone’s brought their kids, who might be 25 themselves!
S: I’ve just got this look across the room from my girlfriend, who I am taking obviously because it’s Valentine’s Day and she’s younger than me so I guess it’s gonna be her!
B: Oh that poor girl. Actually here’s a bit of advice for you, after you’re 25 you can’t remember anything anymore and it all feels like you’re 25 forever until you die, so enjoy that!
S: Oh great, I might use that as the headline for this article actually.
S: Well I don’t want to take up too much of your time today
B: Please do, a load of boring people are about to phone me so please just do.
S: How much press do you have to do for these things?
B: I stopped doing it about two or three years ago, but Stuart is in Thailand on holiday so I was like “Alright I’ll f*cking do it then” and he told me I’m really good at it, but I said no I just say stuff I immediately regret and that’s why I don’t do it anymore, so you’re basically the first interview I’ve done in two and a half years! Congrats!
S: An honour, a real honour
B: None of this is gonna make print is it?
S: It’s ok, I’m good mates with the manager of this magazine (it’s true, he is, I’m currently editing the interview and unfortunately I do actually quite like Sam - Jake), they’ll let me print anything (I wouldn’t go quite that far though - Jake).
B: YES. “What’s the reason for you making this album?” I dunno, because otherwise my kids would be starving?
None of this is gonna make print is it?
S: Do you have any fond memories of Nottingham?
B: I actually do remember walking around and thinking it was nice, couldn’t believe its bad reputation, but then I remembered I live in Glasgow and it's pretty much the same. It feels like Glasgow is Scotland’s Nottingham.
S: Interesting! I have actually been to Glasgow briefly, just for a day, doing sports near Strathclyde University
B: Ohhh that’s the sh*tty looking one. That’s near where I live! Glasgow Uni looks like Hogwarts though it’s amazing.
S: Sadly I didn’t have time to go there
B: Oh mate you should have, it’s amazing! It’s only ten minutes down the road it’s f*cking amazing, your loss. Don’t worry though, all the English people are coming up here now because it’s cheap. My guitar tech lives in Nottingham and he keeps moaning about the rent.
S: Well as the sea levels rise perhaps it will be good to move North, as we march towards the end. What a happy start to the morning!
S: So I guess we should end with something serious, do you want to promote the reissue of Mogwai Young Team and Come On Die Young?
B: I don’t even know about that, I’m not interested in the music industry so good yeah you go for it.
Scottish post-rock legends Mogwai are reissuing their landmark first two albums Mogwai Young Team and Come On Die Young via Chemikal Underground. Their debut album even comes remastered, and both are available in vinyl, CD and digital formats from the band’s own website or your favourite record store.
Mogwai will grace the stage at Nottingham’s Rock City on 14/02/2023 as part of their 2023 UK tour. I hope Barry has a good time, he was wonderful to interview and described it as “the highlight of [his] day”. A living legend.
Sam Christelow
Edited by: Jake Longhurst
All images and videos courtesy of Mogwai.
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